As I look back over my life, I don’t have to look very far. Daily, including today, I have conversations with my inner self about being scared to do a “thing.” That “thing” could be as simple as doing a presentation at work, as big as launching an online business, initiating a crucial conversation for clarity, or, of course, posting live on social media. (Total transparency, that’s a big, scary one for me).
Being scared to do something has, at various times in my life, shipwrecked all the ships in my life: entrepreneurship, relationships, friendships, stewardship, fellowship, leadership, womanship. I’ve second-guessed all of the “ships” in my life because of fear.Fear has sometimes crept slowly into my mind and literally taken up residence there like a tenant. It sometimes transcends my entire being… I’ve repeated negative thoughts in my head about the “thing” I needed to do. Fear has made me sick to my stomach and made my knees buckle in anticipation of doing the “thing.” Being scared has caused me to renege on doing the “thing,” and I’ve ended up not doing it.
In the midst of the grim picture I’ve painted, there is hope. The hope is in our ability to overcome fear and to replace it with courage, sometimes by just doing it scared. For me, it all starts in my head. I have to acknowledge the fear. I sometimes try to figure out the why, but the why doesn’t matter because I know that fear is a natural, instinctive human emotion that everyone experiences; none are exempt.
I’m learning to embrace my fears with faith and courage. At the end of the day, I can choose to allow fear to overtake me, or I can choose to embrace fear to overcome it. I can let it become a lifelong tenant in my mind, or I can evict it as soon as it comes knocking. I choose the latter.
How do I practice overcoming fear? By changing my self-talk words, because words matter. I can take the thought of the overwhelming anticipation of doing that “thing,” acknowledge it, embrace and replace it with a positive affirmation. I can tell fear that it is not welcome in my mind, my heart, nor in my soul. I have to consistently and consciously empower myself to overcome fear with courage. I practice overcoming fear by DOING IT SCARED.
Sometimes I overcome fear by taking a deep breath and just doing the darn “thing.” Other times it takes a little more effort and attention to the particular thing I’m trying to accomplish. Either way, I have found that every time I’ve faced my fears, the anticipation has ALWAYS been greater than the actual. The perception of doing the “thing” was not the reality of doing the “thing.” More often than not, I was able to do the “thing” and even compliment myself for a job well done, for doing it scared.
So I say to you who flee the fear, allow yourself to feel the fear by acknowledging its presence as a true emotion. Then, change the way you see fear by embracing it. Know that it’s natural, it’s real, it’s powerful, but it can be overcome. Look at fear and then look at yourself. Fear is no match for the awesome and wonderful human being you are. Then, go be great by evicting fear, and tackling the “thing” that you almost allowed fear to steal from you. Just do the darn “thing!”
What is that “thing” you’re fearful of? Whatever it is, you have the power within you to acknowledge, embrace, and evict the fear of doing what you need to do.
Empower yourself to overcome fear with courage and to DO IT SCARED. I did, and am, one “thing” at a time.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” - Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom.
- Awesome Life For All
Works Cited
Mandela, Nelson. Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela. Little, Brown and Company, 1994.
